I'm grinning like a goof. I sent Elliot a letter in pieces, a kind of reverse cut-up letter that he could arrange and rearrange to his liking. He said each time he rearranged he always started with the piece that says I miss you. And now I'm grinning like a goof because one of the first things he said to me was I miss you. Not I miss you too, just I miss you.
I'm trying to be careful, I'm trying not to be excited to see him again. I'm trying to pretend that he doesn't matter, but he does because he gets me, all of me. He even gets my strange love hate relationship with the appalling musical Chess, he gets my annoying habit of never knowing how I want to have my tea until after the water is in the cup, he gets my need to dance badly in private to Paul Simon and most importantly he understands my need to connect verbally in a way that he calls relaxed dialogue. I've got about a month til he comes back, I'm going to need to work on the not getting excited.
I'm trying to be careful, I'm trying not to be excited to see him again. I'm trying to pretend that he doesn't matter, but he does because he gets me, all of me. He even gets my strange love hate relationship with the appalling musical Chess, he gets my annoying habit of never knowing how I want to have my tea until after the water is in the cup, he gets my need to dance badly in private to Paul Simon and most importantly he understands my need to connect verbally in a way that he calls relaxed dialogue. I've got about a month til he comes back, I'm going to need to work on the not getting excited.
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