I just thought no. Not today. I'm not having today. I'm going to stay in bed and let my poor self rest. So that's what I'm doing. I keep thinking I should go to work, I tried to phone them and say I'm not coming in but I don't know what to say, so I sent an email at half past nine saying I feel ill.
Now that I'm home I'm not sure what to do. I feel as though I could sleep all day but that can be dangerous, he made me upset but he's not going to make me depressed. I keep repeating this is real this real in my head because it feels so much like a bad dream that I expect to wake at any second. I used to look at all those people younger than me getting married and living out west, buying houses and having babies and think there's more than this, you're trapping yourself. But now look who's trapped. I'm thirty and broken and living in a sharehouse. I didn't think it was a competition but somehow I lose.
I'm the hell sick of this. I need a positive injection. I need a vibrant kick in the head. I need a new solution. I need a hot air balloon to land new people in my life waving banners and handing out answers. I need to stake out some territory in my head for a neutral zone.
Now that I'm home I'm not sure what to do. I feel as though I could sleep all day but that can be dangerous, he made me upset but he's not going to make me depressed. I keep repeating this is real this real in my head because it feels so much like a bad dream that I expect to wake at any second. I used to look at all those people younger than me getting married and living out west, buying houses and having babies and think there's more than this, you're trapping yourself. But now look who's trapped. I'm thirty and broken and living in a sharehouse. I didn't think it was a competition but somehow I lose.
I'm the hell sick of this. I need a positive injection. I need a vibrant kick in the head. I need a new solution. I need a hot air balloon to land new people in my life waving banners and handing out answers. I need to stake out some territory in my head for a neutral zone.
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