Definitely not a revenge narrative

List (incomplete) of stupid things Artboy convinced me to do over the years:
Go to a Doctor Who convention
Watch all Doctor Who videos, in order
Use caption machine on home tv to write own captions for live to air television
Make a robot birthday cake
Sit on concrete floors for hours on end while idiots made their laptops make bleeping noises
Work for free for a collective of digital artists
Join local pub trivia team
Think that it was better for him not to stand up for me cause I needed to do it myself
Live in outer Western Sydney
Have Christmas breakfast with his horrendous family
March in a community marching band
Lock myself in a flat for three days and watch all of Twin Peaks from start to finish
Always be the designated driver because he was on his L's, the whole time
Run around in a recording studio with a tiny keyboard making beeping noises so that he could record it for 'art'
Go to his stupid exhibitions
Stay over at his friend's house when I couldn't even see the bathroom floor through the piles of filthy matted pubes
Eat the pizzas he made from scratch (horrible, horrible)
Move house without hiring a ute or truck (horrible horrible)
Pay for breakfast at a cafe every weekend so I could sit and watch him ignore me and read the newspaper
Talk to his fucked up world's biggest arsehole brother
Pick him up from work every Thurday night for months on end at 2am
Make things out of lego to use around the house
Always pay for everything when we went on holidays
Consider generative art as a valid art form
Read art theory books - and then think about them
Eat $1 hotdogs from Ikea
Pretend that my birthday didn't matter
Think that it was ok for me to do really big generous thoughtful things and to never receive any in return
Pay all of the rent and all of the bills because it was his final year at uni and next year (2007) he would pay me back
Spend all of my twenties with someone who was going to fuck out and piss off and never come back

Clearly there's much more but I'm running out of time here, but I might just add a nice quote.

"Now that you've broken up with Artboy does that mean we can all stop pretending to like his so-called art?"


Comments

Anonymous said…
About half of these things sound awesome.

- venn diagram