Its getting late

I am anxious, there is bile in this idea. There is a fluttering of bad things to come, I don't think I'm doing the right thing this thing this month of July, it feels like a walk down the wrong aisle. It feels like I'm in the wrong exam. I think I am pushing against the wrong walls. This is why I am definitely going to do it. I am the experiment. I am not searching for meaning. I am sitting in isolation twirling the ribbons of existence for no purpose. I am past existentialism, I am bored with nihilism, I'm walking the same old path with morris bells and a syncopated step.

Tonight I walked the streets of Newtown with an open heart but the crowds pushed it back in and held their hands against the pulsing. There are signs all over the streets, cover your heart, cover your mind, we don't want you here with your bells and ribbons and your sickening stench of hope. Dress your humanity in rubber boots and this grey jacket, dye your heart with thinners and comb back your hair. We don't like the way you look, at strangers.

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