By numbers

Statistically speaking I had a fabulous time. Seven people said I looked nice (they actually used better words than nice) some on several occasions. One person told me I looked very rock and this is the nicest thing to say to a Dale who is not sure about wearing fancy dresses. Five people complimented me on my haircut, two of them people I'd never met before. One person called me a cleavage witch but that was a specific comment about when I was wearing a giant witch's hat and I do mean giant. It was the best giant hat I have ever seen. Two people arrived from an anime convention, one of them in some sort of witch's outfit with a two metre witch's hat. I initially did not count Creamboy's compliment but in the car when I was accidentally stating out loud the overly high number of people who had said that I looked nice he asked if I had counted his and found that I hadn't.

I saw one ex with his wife and two children, spoke to seven people I have known for more than ten years, spoke to four bridal parents, one man I met in a pub once, on ex housemate of the bride, two siblings of the happy couple, one each plus their partners, five friends of the groom's parents and several strangers.

I cried once but was trying not to as I was in charge of racing inside and making the music go as soon as the vows were finished and before they started signing papers. I was astonished by the view and atmosphere on nine occasions. One pair of shoes was ruined by the terrain.

Two people had an entire conversation about my breasts but I found this disconcerting and went and fetched my wrap. I ate three pastizzi style things, dipped two carrot sticks in the chocolate fountain, twice stuck my finger in the icing of a cake and fished nine raspberries out of the fruit platter. I had four glasses of wine, half a bottle of sangria, one fizzy lemon squash, two glasses of water and most of a coke. I left the wedding clutching an unopened bottle of champagne, the groom intended I should drink this in the car on the way home but I accidentally put it in the boot. I was not the designated driver.

I got to hold the munchkin on one occasion, just before the ceremony when she nearly leapt out of her grandmother's arms when she saw me. She's quite tall now and not really a baby anymore, this is very exciting because soon she will be old enough to draw pictures with. Creamboy sang four songs in the car, one on the way to the wedding in the style of Bert & Ernie, one on the way to the Hydro Majestic in the style of Frank Sinatra and two on the way down the mountain.

I used three different toilets, one portaloo, the normal inside toilet and a toilet downstairs at the Hydro Majestic. I drove from Newtown to East Kurrajong Section 2, from EK to Emu Plains to fetch Creamboy from a different wedding where he was playing piano, from Emu Plains back to EK for the rest of the wedding. I was the passenger in a car with Creamboy driving from EK to Medlow Bath via Mt Tomah to deposit the happy couple at the Hydro Majestic, a fascinating and grand old hotel Similar to The Overlook. Creamboy then drove me to my squalid sanctuary in Penno where we had two cups of tea, one each.

I felt fabulous on twelve occasions, forlorn twice, bereft once, happy six times and wished I was somebody else twice. I went to sleep with one heart.