Detox is not what I am doing

This is an important distinction to make. I am not detoxing. I am eating many many things that are not suitable for a person that is detoxing as well drinking coke and shandies and coffee, not all at once obviously.

The Spatula, who I recently (ten minutes ago) told to fuck off, reckons that I am grumpy at her because I am detoxing. I am not grumpy with her. I am angry and I told her this but I can't sit here all day I have many things to do before I head back to the film festival.

All my clothes are dirty and I need to somehow wash them. The drier is broken and all the clothes racks are already taken up with other people's clothes. I need to shop for food, cook some sort of something to eat for dinner and take care of the litter tray of doom. Why oh why do cats not use toilets?

Actually I would much rather sit here all day. It would be much nicer to say plopped in front of the heater than have to do boring busy house things. I hate boring busy house things. Send me some staff someone. Oh yes, send in the staff. Tonight will look for millionaire to marry.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hang in there Dale, one more night to go, love the pass, send your washing down here, I'll wash it, dry it, and send it back up - not really sure about doing the same for the litter tray though, in any case xox Rups
DS said…
Ok have popped dirty underpants in post along with dirty socks, something furry I found under the bed and the dirty pots and pans.
As you are not detoxing, it may interest you to know that mixing Cadbury's dark chocolate bits (they're milkless), cocoa powder, nuttelex, plain flour, vanilla essence, No Egg, brown sugar, and an oven gets you one damned desirable tray of vegan choc chip cookies. Smutted knickers pale into insignificance.
DS said…
Oh Alexis. That is brilliant.