What kind of magic spell to use?

Surprise! Well well, I have been dreading, ever since my tired eyes opened themselves this morning, the cold weight of sorrow but it hasn't arrived. Maybe it won't. It has suddenly occurred to me that I am not locked into a trajectory of torment. I don't have to wait and wait for Elliot to break my heart good and proper. I'm The Captain of What I Do and I can just fuck him off. Its a choice, I can pine and pine and wish until I fall in a heap (again) that things were different or I can go fuck that and set a course for happy town.

I don't know why but in my head it was inevitable that I would wait for Elliot then die of heartache when it came time for him to love and he didn't choose me. I really am a fucktard. This might be easier than I thought. It might be possible that one day I will find myself loved, by someone unexpected. Put on your happy hats kids and wish me well. Not once in my adult life have I not had someone to pine over, its the final frontier.

Comments

Gemnastics said…
It's marvellous when you realise you're driving the thing, and that you've taken a wrong turn, and all you have to do is steer.

Hey how did I end up with more professor points?
DS said…
You sent me an email, that's how you got Professor Points. Its not hard to get Professor Points people just have to acknowledge that I exist and contact me without prompting. That's how fucking easy it is.
Anonymous said…
I didn't post anything earlier despite empathising with your plight because I figured that you would eventually come to the same conclusion I did.

You don't always get what you want, but you usually get what you need.

Life, it's a learning experience. :-)
DS said…
Driftwood, Mick Jagger is a fucktard.
karen said…
I was going to reply to your fucktard post admitting that the feeling is all too familiar, but once again Dale you are right. We are all Captains of What We Do. I think I need a badge saying that.

Good luck loving yourself!